»  Letter: Friday, September 13, 1974

    J.R. Derbyshire to John Derbyshire

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  Transcription of Letter

J R Derbyshire
62 Friars Avenue
Delapre
Northampton
England

JOHN DERBYSHIRE
57 NORTH PERKINS AVENUE
ELMSFORD
NEW YORK 10523
  U.S.A

                    62 Friars Av:
                      12 - 9 - 74

Dear John,

Many thanks for your welcome letter received to day & as Mum: is off on her travels again. She has gone to Cornwall to spend a week with your cousin Harold. She left here at 7:45 A M it will take her 10 hours by train. So till next Thursday — 20 inst I shall be on my own. Noel wrote & asked me to go & stay with them at Swindon because he does'nt like me being on my own. but I find it a nice change & gives me time to think. that is why I also refused your Cousin's invitation to go with Mum.

It nice to know that you feel Grim & Guilty, as we two worry about you just as much. & if you could only see your Mum's face when we get a letter from you I am sure you would be satisfied it was well worth the time & trouble writing one. So you see we are quite happy & shall be as long as you & Judith are happy as well, so dont worry about us but just keep us in your thoughts & we shall quite happy. Now I am speaking for myself but I am sure Mum will agree with me, much as we would welcome you for Xmas or any time, as you say its going to be dicey, so if there is any risk of you not being able to return. dont risk it, because we know you are happy there. I wouldnt be able to settle in U.K. I know when I was abroad. I have seen people come to N Z & in 6 months wanted to go home & 6 months after returning they were back again as they couldnt settle back in England, so dont take any risks.

Now about Cindia, let me say first it is no business of mine as its your life & you must be left to live it how you wish But its a foolish person who wont listen to advise, which, when I write you, is all it is, 'advice' so getting this of my chest that is what I am going to give you. I am quite sure, or I wouldnt say this Cindia would never make you happy. For lots of reasons (now dont say how do I know when I have'nt met her) she has'nt got her feet on the ground. it is not her being Chinese. a real Chink would make a good wife but she is to Westernised. For another thing you would'nt be happy married to anyone, other than someone you could leave when you had enough, which would'nt be long. As I told you, my Dad & your Dad & now you are not the marrying kind, as we find more enjoyment with a loose leg & how me & my Dad got into it was the same way that you will when you say you dont know which way its going between you & Cindia. because if you dont watch out, when you you come out of your dream world with her it will be to late She will have forgotten to take the Pill. so you must know at all times where its going. as I said this is only advice & until you are 20 yrs older you will only find out how true it is. & another thing the more people who know you are minus a Work Permit the more you are open to blackmail so dont get drunk as then the tongue gets loose this goes for Cindia as well. I feel awful writing like this but believe me I only wish someone had told me when I was your age what I am telling you now things would have been different, but once I had taken the plung I tried to make it work but it was hard work because when you have only been used to thinking about yourself & then have to consider someone else as well its tough for men with our make up, enough advice for now & I do hope you will take it as it is meant, I was always averse to taking advice but then I found out what a fool I was, thats life.

We had a card from Tessa today we do miss her & I hope she will like it, she said she had been stung by a Jelly Fish. Whatever restriction I went through, or more likely loss of freedom Judith Tess & you have more than repaid. Aunt Cissie are at Michael in Shrewsbury they have been looking after the two boys. What a thrill to see yourself on the T/V I dont remember you telling me about the film[1] we shall look out for it when it comes here & I will broadcast it. I think it is a good idea for you to play soft ball[2]  as you say its a bit of exercise.

How much did that last phone call cost you  it much to expensive to do often its a pity the post is so long winded it only used to be 3 days from NY now its 8 days it only the same from Hawaii

I cant see how Kennedy can say the freedom for Nixon[3] is a missuse of the law. What about him being free after that girl drowning. It would appear if you have the money you can dodge the law. & as you say the country is much to big to damage What a paradise it could be made into as its got everything including Canada. They usually have severe winters in your area how will you get to work if you cant use the car.

Caroline did everything at once wonder what moved her. I shall be giving the hedge the last cut next month before putting cutters up for winter. I cant say I am looking forward to winter. every year I seem to feel the cold more. My blood must be getting thin. Mum will be writing & giving you all the news when she gets back. Do you ever hear from Garry I thought he was going to U S A at one time he is getting quite a family about him, no doubt its expensive for him to move. Well I have run out of room so must close & I hope you will give my few words a little thought & whatever you do is right. Your Cousin Harold is still paying £8 to his first wife & will have to go on paying for life so you see it costly if you make a mistake. So Cheerio for now & all the best look after yourself & dont worry about us just keep us in your thoughts

love DAD

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  Notes

  1. The Way of the Dragon. It had been released in the U.S.A. Trailers were shown on TV. Drinking in a bar one night, I happened to look up & see myself on the screen.
  2. I had joined the company (Savin Business Machines) softball team.
  3. Watergate fallout: Nixon had resigned August 9.