»  Letter: Friday, October 4, 1974

    J.R. Derbyshire to John Derbyshire

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  Transcription of Letter

From
J R Derbyshire
62 Friars Avenue
Delapre
Northampton
England

To
J DERBYSHIRE
57 NORTH PERKINS AVENUE
ELMSFORD
NEW YORK 10523
U.S.A.

62 FRIARS AV. 4.10.74

Dear John,

It was lovely to hear your voice again & its much clearer than we get on local calls at times. Mum has just gone up to town to do a bit of shopping & get me a bottle for night time, you know the sort, IE. near relation to the bed Pan. I have been using enamel Pot but its sprung a leak so I had to abandon it. As I have to get up every 2 hours & winter coming on. Well I ask you, another sign of old age. The thing that I dont like about growing old is the knowledge that you are now finished & one of the bits of junk cast out as of no use now superceded by a later model. & just living on borrowed time & memories you would rather forget are the only ones you have

Dont take any notice of me its a vile morning Raining & winter to look forward to so I wouldnt say I am at my best. Had a letter from Judith this morning says they have settled in & are looking for jobs Tessa started school & likes it & asks when NANA is coming as they are now settled & got a carpet Mum & me do miss her never mind I only hope things work out. Judith says they will give it 6 months & then — . It looked silly to me from the start.

I have no doubt Mum has given you all the news. The country has got Election fever & it amazes me how some people swallow the same old tales, its like the adverts on T/V lots of people must believe them otherwise they would'nt keep showing them, what a lot of money must be wasted on education.

I didnt show Mum the letter you wrote me as I thought you might not want her to see it, or it is the Victorian age showing anyway the thing that pleased me most was that you thought about what I was telling you. Its so easy to know it all when you are young, as I did, unfortunately I had no one to advise me. As my parents never advanced from thier station in life. decided for them by the powers to be. so they had not got, to give, the advice I wanted so I had to find out the hard way & when I look back, I see all the things that I remember now from the past with regret, with the right advice I could have avoided 90% of them but it was my generation which was the first to break through bonds of (keep to your station) & question all the old fasioned laws & free ourselves so we where breaking fresh ground new to us & our parents. but all my life I have found woman (Woe man) has never changed they are the same the world over. they cant help it, its thier heritage, they all have the same basic ways & as the old comic said "there are two stages in a woman's life which man knows nothing about. thats before he marries her & after. As you say love is not an argument against marriage but how do define love you can love a person & not see them for years, or you think you love a person & go to bed with her & when its all over love flies out of the window. Sex, it still one kind of love among many & female is the only that can keep loving going men can't so Johnson is right. & always remember its the woman who marries the man. She picks her man & sets about wooing him & its only the strong who get away. & 90% of women only marry to have children & when the have got them, man has had it, mind you if you find a girl who takes your fancy & she has plenty of money & wanted to marry, I dont think its wrong & if it didn't work out no one is hurt. but when the wife is dependent & if there children its different, in 90% of cases its only children who hold a marriage together & living like that kills a man. I was glad to hear you had broken with Cindia & time will tell what sort of girl she is, as the Poet said a woman scorned is worse than the sting of an asp.

About Xmas, we would love to see you but not to the extent of you losing your job by not being able to return so if you do decide make cast iron sure you can return because I dont think you could settle in this country after U.S.A. I cant say about America but in most countries it is only when you become a undesirable alien that they kick you out, it would be a bit dicey trying to find out as one or another might give you away, but you will see how you go on. We are happy if you are because you, Judith & Tessa are the only ones who matter to Mum & me but I have Noel & the boys which are my blood & Flesh but of course I have had more to do with you, with Noel & Family always it makes a difference.

Its a vile day raining cold & North East wind blowing they generaly have hard winters in N.Y. the two extreams very hot & very cold, so I hope you have some nice warm clothes & keep yourself fit because that Central heating plays hell with your health. Well here endeth another lesson just keep your wits about you as there is some queer people about Look after yourself

lots of love

DAD    X  X  X

I wonder what sort of a government we shall get this time, plenty of 'promises'?

Dad