»  Letter: Saturday, November 9, 1974

    J.R. Derbyshire to John Derbyshire

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From
J R Derbyshire
62 Friars Avenue
Delapre
Northampton
England

To
John DERBYSHIRE
57 NORTH PERKINS AVENUE
ELMSFORD
NEW YORK 10523
U.S.A.

62 Friars Ave    9/11/74

Dear Son,

Its me again just to warn you that you are to the point of no return & how you will cuss when you wake up & find your freedom gone. That is the state you are in now & any day she will inform you she is up the stick & you will be wed: sat on & tamed before you wake up only to find there is no way out. So be warned cut loose as this is your last chance all the signs are there & its only the young & inexperense that can't see it. are you so week that can't stand up to a chink whore there are plenty of decent girls about & you, by virtue of your good looks, personality, & potential money maker, you are in a land where you can take your pick I can just see what I would have done, in your place had I had good luck to be in it so I can see what is in store for you if you dont pull your socks up. I know you are asking your self how I know the kind of girl she is. It stands out to me from experience & I dont wonder why you dont see her in her true colours because at your age I wouldnt. You have to experience it & pay the costs or listen to experience. She is a type that you will meet again in your life. & if you are free you can deal with her, but if you are caught you will look at her & say "How the Hell could I have been so DUMB"

I preach at you like this not because I want to run your life but to steer you into the joys of enjoyment of life that I could have enjoyed had someone told me. I want you to have the best life can give it doesnt last long. I look back & wonder were the time has gone. looking at it from your end I know it looks endless so enjoy it whilst you can but always with your eye on the future because when you lose the lust of the flesh you must replace it with something so always look forward & try to visualise what it will be like tied to her with a mortgage & in shackless, as against freedom putting your hat on & the roof is on. I know how I felt. You see if you do marry. which I have no doubt you will, choose very careful, because behind every successful marriage is the female she is the one who makes it work. I was lucky when your Mother picked me. I watched all the moves & tricks to get me to the alter, my experience told me all I wanted to know about her & I could see that she was making such a bad bargain that I had to tell her she would lose out on the deal, but with her inexperience she would'nt see it so we went ahead & wed although I told her everything all the disadvantages in marrying me as I was on the wane & could see the difference in our ages would make. but with everything against her she made it work but the cost was heavy & she never whimpered. she is one of the best no praise I can give her can ever be enough. You are lucky as you have to best Mother in the world. Clever, good looking, understanding. I only wish she would not let people take advantage of her & I know when I have gone you will both look after her & keep her happy.

I feel like the weather wet, cold & windy but dont let me get you down take what I have written & look at it objectively & remember its only guidelines because, if you do remember it will be clearer to you in 25 yrs time. As I was saying the weather here is vile & only winter to look forward to. Robert paid us a visit last Sat: he looks well, is a smart looking boy & likes being a P.C. I expect Noel will be calling this W/E as he is coming to fetch his wife I have no doubt Mum keeps you up to date with the local news. So it only leaves me the Auntie Column to deal with. We have'nt heard from Judy for a while I keep wondering if things dont work out, what will the outcome be. Its Tessa we worry about the adults can look after therselves & I know they will She is alright but she seems to have been pushed around all her life I hope she can now settle.

I am glad the suit fits you I bet you look smart in it your pals will want to know where you got it from it Simpsons[?] & they are the best the Bond St ready to wear. Well I must end now  I have had one of those morbid days. every so often one sits no one about & realise you are no use to anyone & all you have to do is sit & wait. I dont get them often & soon get over them. I dont worry about passing on. We all have to do that & I have no comeback it the thought of leaving Mum I know you will both of you look after her so I hope all will be well. Well Cheerio for now. You are always in our mind & I dont think a day passes without us talking about both of you.

Love    DAD