»  Letter: Friday, August 30, 1974

    J.R. Derbyshire to John Derbyshire

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J R Derbyshire
62 Friars Avenue

NEW YORK 10523


Dear John,

It was nice to hear from you again & glad you are doing well. Judith says you are thinking of settling down in USA. Well you can't do better, if you are single. It only seems yesterday since I was your age, happy & free wandering about on Gods own country when Wham: a girl who I had knocking about with in Christcurch said she was pregnant, but I had to leave her as I was off to Auckland on a job. For the next few weeks I sat & pondered, should I do the honorable thing or should I do a moonlight. Well you can see what I did through Noel. end to roaming & pleasing myself & it is in my mind now how I felt & for the next few years tied hand & foot & it was'nt pleasant I can still feel the hopelessness & look on now as years wasted. You are old enough, senseable enough to run your own life & I would not want to influence you in any way. but I feel I ought to tell you of my experience. Always remember "a woman marries a man" she picks the man she wants & he stands no chance. The emotion called love is only a passing fancy & when your single you can enjoy it & go on your way. but when its there night & day its like eating the same food every meal, no variety. its laid on like a service, not like the sense of achievement when single (Think) This is only for you to read & digest. You are the only one who makes the decision & what ever you decide we (Mum & me) will be with you all the way. It a pity one has to get old to understand the most important things in life. & I hope you dont think I am interfering. I want to see you happy. all over now.

We had a card & letter on Monday from Judith to say they had landed at Los Angeles with Alan brother & were flying to Hawii on the 24 aug & what an interesting trip they had from Denver to L/A. but I have no doubt she has let you know. Isnt Tessa lovely we do miss her. Mum kept bursting out crying I felt sorry for her they were so close to one another. Still thats life, I don't know how they will go on. I never thought Judith could be so docile. I wonder if it will last when the going is rough. She always has the consolation of knowing there is always a good home waiting for both of you if you ever need it. aint I depressing? never mind you know married or single you will always be welcome Whatever I write or say boils down to one thing, we want you to be happy. I suppose you know Allan had a vasectomy done private[1] before he left England. I dont blame him as I think its cruel & thoughtless to bring children in the world we have today. if it keeps on as it is now it wont be fit for humans. When I think of the world of my youth & the joy & pleasure without all the money I only wish you could have known it although we did'nt know how lucky we where. the world was a big place then. When I think there was only 3 million in Australia & less than 1 million in N.Z. the air was clean. food was wholesome happy days. I cant think that the politicians could do so much damage to the world in so short a time, they must have worked hard at it to do it in the time. 60 years ago Britain ruled the world we were also the richest country in the world & you didnt need a passport to go to any country in the world the golden Sovereign was enough & to think in so short a time we are a conglomeration of black brown yellow white people with no prestige or say in the world we used to run & I dont think we are yet at our lowest experence over the years tells me we will sink deeper before we start rising. So if you do get wed be like Allan go & have it seen to as a standing prick has no conscience its no use trusting a woman because at climax she is in another world & in no state to help herself.

Mum & me jog along & are quite happy & want for nothing so far I am only living on borrowed time now so if anything hapens to me take charge of her as I dont want her living here on her own as this is not a country for a lone woman

I am getting morbid again. I have been cutting the hedges & it gets harder every time I must be getting old. I found out why I was getting shocks with the hedge trimmer. my drill was an old model & had slots in the barrel to let in air to cool motor & the hedge attachment fixed in the slots. but I notice this one has the same air slots but a longer barrel & the attachment slots are behing the air slots & are not right through. I shall have to give them the final cut in October to last till May. We have grown a few kidney beans this year & may try more next year. The weather is not to bad now perhaps we shall have an Indian Summer. Had a letter from Noel he wants me to go & stay with him while Mum is in Cornwall, but I am quite happy here. I am a loner it runs in the family, my Dad & brother were the same & I think you are as well. Well son I think I have said all I wanted to say & if you think I have gone to far forgive me & it is because we love you & I had no intention of preaching only advising. So look after yourself as you are always in our thoughts

Love Dad



  1. "Private":   i.e. not on the National Health Service.