»  Letter: Thursday, May 11, 1978

    J.R. Derbyshire to John Derbyshire

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J R Derbyshire
62 Friars Avenue

John Derbyshire
126 Stevens Avenue
New York 10595

62 Friars Avenue  11-5-78

Dear Son,

Thank you for your letter. You say Spring is a long time arriving. Well over here the winter is a long time leaving. I have never known anything like it. Cold East winds, rain, snow & frost, flooding everywhere. I am fed up. We have not had any warm dry weather for nearly 3 yrs, & with weather like this, I can't get warm & cant do any thing & if we dont have some seasonable weather soon I will go off my nut.

The thought of you coming home has raised our spirits a we have nearly forgot what you look like & it will be nice to see you again, & also for you to see your lovely niece & nephew they are both lovely, & in 10 weeks time Tessa is off to stay with her Dad in Hawaii & if it was'nt for the thought that we would'nt see her for a long time, I wish he would keep her. She has a lovely desposition but not very happy at home & comes & stays with us every week end sleeps in your room. When we told her you were coming, she said "Well were will he sleep"  we told her in your room, she said "he cant sleep in my room, so now every W.E she brings something from her room at home & leaves it here & we keep teasing her.  & as for your nephew, he has just started to walk so when he comes we have to hang the things on Sky Hooks.

If you do decide to stay here I have no doubt you will have plenty of jobs. But if you react as I did you will be fed up quite soon, as after the way other countries run thier affairs you will see how crude & out of touch our government is with home & world events & surprised how living here has changed.  & when things bust, as they must, it will be Civil War at least. I has several people wanted to adopt Noel in N.Z. but Aunt Cissie & my Mother begged me to bring him with me, otherwise I think I would have gone back, after seeing my folks  it took me a long time to settle down & tolerate the change but there was nothing I could do. That is why I always told you not to shit on your own doorstep  Kathie is a woman who wants a man  She may be a nice girl but she got herself in a nice mess & if you are not very careful she will get you into one as well. Its quite easy for her to get pregnant, what would you do then, & what will Jay & Mary say when you dump her  You are like me always get on well with children & I like them but not all the time. If you get either of the jobs how will you stand with your application for Permit to stay  will the Firm still pay costs 'Legal'  anyway you have been there a long time & given them good service & I think you have learnt something as well & if you are dissatisfied I dont think, with your experence & ability you would soon get on, but when you get older it will be more difficult, but as long as Mum & me are alive your home will be here waiting for you  what is ours is yours but whatever you do get out of your present set up. If you take up writing there is a good living writing articles for daily newspapers on Topical thing & events. I often wish I could type  I would have a go myself  I am more of the orator  I have not the nack of expressing myself on paper.

We are due for a fine day tomorrow by the forecast. Mum is going to spend a week with Mary Allen Thursday 11 May so I shall all on my own for a week. I dont mind being alone, as you say "We Derbyshire's are a funny crowd"  It wouldnt do for us all to be the same. I manage to get my walk in every day, but my legs & feet need an overhaul as all the joints are knocking now. Its not nice getting old, it like having had a trouble car for years that at last starts to disinterate one part after another but apart from legs & feet I can't grumble. I agree with you, there is a law of nature to let you do foolish things unknowingly but not if it hurts any one  I never had any one to advize me when I was young & being big for my age no-one tried to tell me so I grew up thinking brute force was law but of course in my travels I met lots of people who proved I was wrong to think that was so & so you could say I was a late starter on the rules of life & had to learn a lot form experence, that I should have learned or known before. Then one tends to get a chip on the shoulder by looking back, & its a strange thing I find in old age & having recollections for about 75 yrs, that it is only the things you should'nt have done that you remember. I think about afterlife because I can't see any justice in the present set up, as for instance some people are born with a handicap & have it all thier life whilst others are born & never suffer anything all thier life  there must be another chance surely  But its something one can argue for ever & when I look at the world today & think of all the advantages there are now which we never had & yet its getting worse to live in & we are moveing back to the dark ages

Mum received your letter yesterday & I think she expects you to walk in any day now & is excitingly looking forward to it & I doubt if she will let you go once she gets you here. thats the trouble with parents  they never grow up with thier children but always look on them youngsters all thier life.

Well I think I've said enough so in the circumstances that you now face  Dont let your heart rule your head.

                All the best & hope to see you soon

                    love  Dad