»  Radio Derb — Transcript

        Friday, April 21st, 2006


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[Music clip: From Haydn's Derbyshire March No. 2, organ version]

01 — Intro.     Greetings, NRO readers. That was one of Haydn's Derbyshire Marches and this is John Derbyshire with your weekly digest of hubris, horror, and humiliation on Radio Derb.

I hope you all observed Easter or Passover in the appropriate style and are looking forward to Whitsun. Let's get going with the news of the hour.


02 — Steely killers v. children of Oprah.     I hate to admit it and you're going to hate me for admitting it, but as I've been following the Zacarias Moussaoui trial, I found myself wondering if we really can win this War on Terror.

  • Item:  A U.S. naval officer, Lieutenant Nancy McEwen wept on the witness stand while testifying about the death of her colleagues.

Here is what Moussaoui said about that, quote: "I think it was disgusting for a military person to cry. She is military. She should expect people at war with her to want to kill her."

I agree with Moussaoui. Isn't it an offense under our Uniform Code of Military Justice to weep in the face of the enemy, literally actually in his face? If it isn't, it ought to be. I'd be happy to see Lieutenant McEwen court-martialed; and if judgment were up to me, she'd be stripped of her commission and given five years in the brig.

  • Item:  In Moussaoui's defense, though without his approval, a clinical social worker, Ms Jan Vogelsang, testified that Moussaoui was a victim of child abuse and [gasp] racism. His father had beaten the kids you see, and Moussaoui's girlfriend's family had rejected him because they looked down on North Africans.

What did Moussaoui think of this testimony? "It's a lot of American b-s!" he shouted as he was led from the court.

Well, again, I totally agree. It is a lot of b-s, although unfortunately it's not particularly American. The whole Western world has been infected by this poisonous pap

  • Item:  The Los Angeles Times, arguing against a death sentence for Moussaoui, editorialized that, quote: "Capital punishment gives jihadists like Moussaoui the martyrdom they crave." End quote.

Possibly so, but it gives the rest of us the immense satisfaction of knowing that there is one less of the enemy in existence.

Watching this trial, I've been left with the impression that on one side of the War on Terror there are unbreakable men of steely determination, striving to kill as many of us as possible without distinction, compunction or remorse.

On the other side are the emoting, weeping, sniveling, feminized legions of our rotten therapeutic society: the children of Oprah and Bill Clinton, wailing about "racism" and "abuse," gushing out their precious feelings for the world to see.

So far is that first side is concerned, I believe Zacarias Moussaoui is a fair example of what we are up against. If the other side is illustrative of the Western world's cultural defenses, we are surely doomed.


03 — Brits get Muslim rear admiral.     Britain's Royal Navy, best known for seeing off the Spanish Armada and for its dedication to the noble traditions of rum, sodomy and the lash has appointed its first Muslim admiral.

Pakistan-born Amjad Hussain is actually a rear admiral — a rank we must hope has no connection whatsoever to the sodomy tradition.

Time to update our Gilbert and Sullivan Song Book.

[Sings to the tune of Sir Joseph's song in Pinafore.]

When I was young I served a term
As diversity consultant for a legal firm.
I chastised racists and I sued with force
To monitor compliance with the quota laws.
He monitored compliance with the quota laws.

I monitored and sued so successfully
That now I am the ruler of the Queen's Navy.
He monitored and sued so successfully
That now he is the ruler of the Queen's Navy


04 — ChiCom President denied state dinner.     The Chinese President Hu Jintao showed up for lunch at the White House.

Now I don't want anyone to worry that I'm going to make one of those lame jokes about Hu's name. I would not stoop so low.

In any case Hu is President of China only because he was appointed to the position by his colleagues in the Chinese Communist Party, which has never had the basic civilized decency to submit itself to the Chinese people for their electoral approval, or to apologize for the tens of millions of Chinese people it has murdered, or to explain to the Chinese people on the other side of the Taiwan Strait why it has batteries of missiles pointed at them.

For all the "front" of diplomatic savoir faire the ChiComs conceal themselves behind, they remain a disgrace to the civilized world, tyrants to their own citizens, and a threat to peace. They will do everything they can to vex us and obstruct our own geopolitical goals.

Our President did the right thing in denying Hu Jintao a state dinner. There's little hope that China will be any help to us in the world, but at least we can tell them what we think of their shoddy, lying dictatorship.


05 — A disappointing illegal alien.     Here's a roundup of the rest of the immigration news.

Last week I gave you the sad story of two Englishman trying to walk around the world who got arrested for entering Siberia without the right documents. Just to update you on that: They were ordered to be deported, but are still there pending an appeal.

Probably nobody over there has much idea what to do since this may well be the first recorded case of anyone trying to get into Siberia.

Well, here's an even sadder immigration story, so get your hankies out.

Francisco Javier Silva Serrano is a young man from Mexico who last year was caught posing as a student and living on the premises of a school in St Paul, Minnesota. Serrano, who had entered the U.S.A. illegally, was ordered to be deported. Local sympathizers took up his case, however, and a St Paul businessman bailed him out of jail and promised to support him.

Alas, the businessman himself got in trouble with the law — has been shipped off to jail on a bribery charge, in fact — and a federal judge confirmed Silva Serrano's deportation order.

The kumbaya crowd, when they got through weeping, bought the young man a plane ticket, and hugged him as he passed through the airport departure gate in January, bound for Mexico.

Well, it seems young Francisco never got on the plane. Last month he was arrested for burglary in Boston after breaking into an apartment, wielding a knife, and fighting with the occupant.

St Paul's poster boy for tolerance of illegal immigration now looks set fair to enjoy another two and a half years residence in this country as a guest of Massachusetts Department of Correction.

Now I said this was a sad story, so why are you all smiling?


06 — Oil v. diplomacy.     Oil went over $70 a barrel this week and our Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said that energy hunger was warping diplomacy around the world.

What she means is that big new players like China and India will do pretty much anything to curry favor with the oil-producing countries and don't give a fig about those countries' internal conditions, whether they're democracies or even whether they have nukes.

Where does this leave the USA, fretting about the way forward to a democratic Middle East and about Iranian nukes? Over a barrel, that's where. We won't be getting much help with either project.

If you thought it was lonely just being the world's only superpower, stick around. It's going to be even worse being the only superpower while simultaneously trying to continue being the world's biggest customer for oil.

Time to get my bicycle out, I think.


07 — Egg Roll hijacked.     The annual Easter Egg Roll on the White House lawn drew thousands of parents and children, as it has ever since it was started back in the Rutherford B Hayes administration.

Observers of this year's event noticed a new feature, 200 or so of the participants were wearing Hawaiian-style flower necklaces in gay colors. The gayness of the colors was no accident, for these were persons of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and allied community.

Goodness only knows what "allied" means in this context, and if anyone thought he saw a sheep contentedly munching on the White House grass, I'd really rather not hear about it.

Anyway, these homosexualists and allied folk were there to show that they were just as good parents as anyone else. Personally, I doubt that's true. If Mother Nature set things up so that it takes a male and a female to engender a child, I suspect Mother Nature knew what she was doing. Be that as it may, however, we can legitimately ask about those flower necklaces — leis is the official term for them.

Couldn't the GLBTA parents have participated just as well without thus distinguishing themselves? Ah, but then their presence might have gone unnoticed, their numbers unremarked — you see?

Were they not, then, shamelessly politicizing a formally apolitical event designed not to promote anyone's lifestyle, but to give harmless pleasure to innocent kids?

Perish the thought! Who would be so cynically manipulative as to do such a thing?


08 — Happy birthday, Hef!     Hugh Hefner, founder of Playboy magazine, celebrated his eightieth birthday by throwing a huge party at the Playboy Mansion in Los Angeles.

Then he was with his cohort of bimbos: Mandy, Randy, Sandy, Brandy, Rio Grandy, Helping Handy and Cotton Candy; and if you can tell one from the other you are a more experienced connoisseur of silicone, botox, and false eyelashes that I am, Gunga Din.

Hef declared that he feels fine. Eighty is the new forty; Brandy is the new Mandy, and impotence is the new sexual promiscuity.

One of the Greek philosophers said that getting old and losing your sexual desire is like being unchained from a maniac. If Hef's been thus unchained, he's not about to admit it. Neither are Mandy, Brandy, Candy and One Night Standy.

We pray for your liberation, Hef.


09 — Signoff.     That's all, folks. I hope you got your taxes filed. The country has to pay for all those Congressional earmarks somehow, you know. The two Senators from Mississippi are pushing for an earmark that will cost seven hundred million dollars. That's seven hundred million dollars. You could get an Exon Mobil exec for that. And that's just the earmark, mind. The bill they are earmarking comes to 106 billion.

And so the great engine of democracy rolls on … towards a cliff, some of us suspect. But we shall find out; and you can be sure that whatever happens, you will hear about it first on your ever-vigilant station of record, Radio Derb.


[Music clip: More Derbyshire Marches.]