—————————
One of the great mysteries of the human world, to my way of thinking, is how anyone gets through life without a sense of humor. A staggering number of people undoubtedly do, though. These pages are not for them.
| Date | Place | Title | Topic |
|---|---|---|---|
| September 12, 2013 | Taki's Magazine | Oscars Preview | Some movies to look forward to. |
| March 24, 2011 | Taki's Magazine | Laughter in the Dark | May he poop on my knee? |
| December 24, 2007 | NRO | Sing-along-a-Derb | Those seasonal numbers again. |
| October 16, 2007 | NRO | Beijing's Demonstration Sports | ChiCom Olympic events. |
| August 9, 2007 | NRO | Physicians' Derb Reference | A pharmacopœia. |
| June 2007 | [Not published] | Slough on the Potomac | Sæva indignatio lacerates my heart. |
| December 21, 2006 | NRO | Sing-along-a-Derb. | More seasonal numbers. |
| October 11, 2006 | NRO | Buckley College Staff Meeting. | If National Review were a school. |
| August 8, 2006 | NRO | If— (you want to be a true jihadi). | Kipling's great poem, adapted. |
| September 15, 2005 | NRO | FEMA to the Rescue | Orientation course for disaster-area volunteers. |
| June 30, 2005 | NRO | The International Freedom Center | Let Freedom Ring! |
| December 23, 2004 | NRO | Sing-along-a-Derb. | Some seasonal numbers. |
| October 27, 2004 | NRO | The Stars Speak | Opinions from the entertainment elite. |
| September 17, 2004 | NRO | The Senator from Bray | Old English song updated. |
| December 23, 2003 | NRO | Sing-along-a-Derb. | Some seasonal numbers. |
| December 3, 2003 | NRO | Not Fit to Print. | My unpublished letters to the editor. |
| September 29, 2003 | NRO | Dispatches from a Real War on Terror | An alternate universe where we are really fighting. |
| September 29, 2003 | National Review | From "Activist" to "Warmonger" | A Devil's Dictionary for our time. |
| September 29, 2003 | National Review | The Sacramento Tales | California recall, in Middle English. |
| December 28, 2001 | NRO | An Abecedarian War | Alliteration (and also assonance) are addictive. |
| September 19, 2000 | NRO | Closing Down Hollywood | Trial lawyers turn on showbiz. |
| January 9, 1996 | The Wall Street Journal | No Sweat | Possibly the only sonnet ever to appear in the "Letters" columns of the Journal. |